Once you lose someone you love in a tragic way, the thought of losing another is horrifying. At least that has been my experience.
My children were having to live with a mother that was crazy scared of something awful happening to them.
The three of us went to Cabo San Lucas last year for vacation. It was the first time I had been “in charge” of all the planning. We had been to Cabo many times before, but my husband always handled it all. Now I was a nervous wreck, worrying about everything…just name it.
We got to our resort, checked in, everything went just perfect. We changed into our suits and off to the beach we went. I started to relax and enjoy the warm January weather.
On the way back to our room after dinner, my son announced that he was going to find some amigos and amigas. I didn’t want him going out, it was ten o’clock, and like I said before, I had this awful fear that something bad would happen. When I asked him to stay in the resort, he promptly reminded me that he was 22 years old, so off he went. He met some wonderful young people his age and they had a great time hanging out in the resort.
I have to tell you, the fear I was feeling was crushing. I prayed. I calmed down. Then God spoke to me, calm and clear as can be. He said, “He’s mine, I’ve got him”. I let go.
The next day, I explained to my kids what I had been going through. They understood, they were just as worried about losing their only remaining parent. I told them about God calming me down, and I promised to let go and start putting things in God’s hands where they belong.
Believe me, I have been tested more than I like to admit over this. But I can testify that I am getting better at it every day. God is good.
We will go back to Cabo someday…or they just might go without me. That’s fine too.
The trip was bittersweet…just six months after the tragedy. This is us at my daughter’s favorite restaurant La Golondrina, where the mariachi band played their dad’s favorite Mexican song …we only know it as “one ton tomato”